If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
