I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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