Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
