Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
