Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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