u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
When are your genitals available?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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