shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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