I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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