More tranny stories later!
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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