she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
