You work out of a Hotel?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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