I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
