I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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