thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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