Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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