Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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