Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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