Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
