I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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