I bet he comes in French.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
