could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
