and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
