The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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