P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
