Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
