Banned from zoo.
Again?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
