I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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