I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
