Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
