That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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