He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
