I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
