It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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