I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
