Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
