I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
