To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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