Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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