ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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