Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
