Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
