I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
