I skipped work to stalk him.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses youâ€
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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