I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
