Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
