Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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