i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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