Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
