Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
