I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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