Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
